So.. Here we are 3 years later, being hauled into a Catholic Civil Rights Case due to a false arrest of a Catholic Protester. As you can see, Joan Bell is convinced that some religious hate crime was committed against her. For whatever reason, which was never explained, the Catholic’s attorney called Dastur Adam as a Federal Witness to Joan Bell’s Civil Lawsuit. Can you guess what the Catholics really wanted to talk about? Bread, wafers, blessed wafers, and a second Black Mass that was supposedly happening at the same time, or some weird bullshit. If you recall, Archbishop Coakley sued Dastur and the entire membership of the Dakhma Of Angra Mainyu over a Eucharist that they believed that the Dakhma had acquired.
Then Nightline broke the news, the Dakhma never had a blessed wafer, to begin with.
3 years later, the Catholics are still obsessively asking about said Eucharist. Here is Dastur Adam’s fun time conversation about bread, in Federal proceedings. Wasting everyone’s time to include the court.
Evocation of Ahriman
Rise up, thou Father of us! For I will cause that conflict in the world where from the distress and injury of Auharmazd and his archangels will arise.
Rise up, thou Father of us! For in conflict I will shed thus much vexation on the righteous man and the laboring ox, that through my deeds, life will not be wanted, and I will destroy their living souls, I will vex the water, I will vex the plants, I will vex the fire of Auharmazd, I will make the whole of creation of Auharmazd vexed!
I call forth Angra Mainyu to this house, to this borough, to this town, to this land; to the very body of the man defiled by the dead, to the very body of the woman defiled by the dead; to the master of this house, to the lord of the borough, to the lord of the town, to the lord of the land; to the whole of the Infernal World!
I call forth Nasu, I call direct defilement, I call forth indirect defilement to this house, to this borough, to this town, to this land; to the very body of the man defiled by the dead, to the very body of the woman defiled by the dead; to the master of this house, to the lord of the borough, to the lord of the town, to the lord of the land; to the whole of the Infernal World!
I call forth Chinnamasta, I call forth Sauru, I call forth the Daeva Naunghaithyn, I call forth to this house, to this borough, to this town, to this land; to the very body of the man defiled by the dead, to the very body of the woman defiled by the dead; to the master of this house, to the lord of the borough, to the lord of the town, to the lord of the land; to the whole of the Infernal World!
I call forth Tauru, I call forth Zairi to this house, to this borough, to this town, to this land; to the very body of the man defiled by the dead, to the very body of the woman defiled by the dead; to the master of this house, to the lord of the borough, to the lord of the town, to the lord of the land; to the whole of the Infernal World!
I call forth Aeshma, the fiend of the wounding spear, I call forth Daeva Akatasha to this house, to this borough, to this town, to this land; to the very body of the man defiled by the dead, to the very body of the woman defiled by the dead; to the master of this house, to the lord of the borough, to the lord of the town, to the lord of the land; to the whole of the Infernal World!
I call forth Varenga Daeva, I call the wind Daeva to this house, to this borough, to this town, to this land; to the very body of the man defiled by the dead, to the very body of the woman defiled by the dead; to the master of this house, to the lord of the borough, to the lord of the town, to the lord of the land; to the whole of the Infernal World!
What is the point of this Evocation and why do we use it? It was Pairaka Jahi who roused Father Ahriman from His dark sleep of humiliation and defeat. Rise up thou Father of Us! We say this to raise His energy through our lower chakras that start at the soles of our feet which exist in Kakola. From our hips, He is evocated into our ritual or even in daily life if one is so bold. With this evocation, we are swearing to Him our intent in His name and for His Honor.
For I will cause that conflict in the world where from the distress and injury of Auharmazd and his archangels will arise. Our first duty to the Devil is this, period! This is done by attacking the religion and faith of the righteous and pious man with evil thought, evil speech, and evil action. To mock God with perversion of mind is Aka Manah in the Ajna Chakra. To Mock God with blasphemy is Nanshait in the Vishuddha Chakra. To Mock God with inverted religious ceremony is Suarva in the Anahata Chakra. Through working with these three Archdaevas, we damage god and his goons. We also can destroy physical representations of these pious beings, and damage their spiritual sanctums as well. They rest in their idols, destroy their idols and they will arise.
For in conflict I will shed thus much vexation on the righteous man and the laboring ox, that through my deeds, life will not be wanted. If our lower basal chakras are charged with the Spirit of Anguish’s energy, we must unleash the anguish by vexing the righteous man and his animals. These animals can be seen as machines as well in these modern times. The easiest way to vex the righteous man is through cognitive dissonance about their fucking god. Keep pressing their mind with your evil words and evil actions, until life will not be wanted. Drive them to free their animal needs through vexation and doubt. With the Knowledge gained through Ahriman-Mantra, object apathy allows to just walk away from the mess while keeping your hands clean.
I will destroy their living souls, I will vex the water, I will vex the plants, I will vex the fire of Auharmazd, I will make the whole of creation of Auharmazd vexed! By forcing them to express their animal needs, you’ll destroy their internal morality and damn their souls to Hell. I will vex the elements through corruption by creating poison both physical and spiritual. Salting the earth is a great example of this or the obvious creation of poison. Conversational hypnotism is also a poison created with water, earth, and fire. In other words, You swear to the Devil that you create vexation for the entire material and spiritual world for Angra Mainyu.
The Devil’s Yasna is both scripture and the spoken, chanted, and sung aspect of a large expansive ritual. Majority of the spoken aspect of the Devil’s Yasna is reading in the mode one reads poetry in a 7 metre rhythm. The Manthras found throughout the rite are chanted like Hindu mantras, but have a different effect and purpose. The Ahrimani Gathas, are songs that hold the religious mystery and understanding of His worship. In Dastur Adam Daniels’s new book, Ashemaogha, all of these aspects are broken down and explained.
Lets back up, and what does ashemaogha even mean? To be a blunt, profane apostate, which is the worst human enemy the Zoroastrians ever had. The Dastur is organizing all of the Dakhma’s literature to follow a progression for a lay person to follow through the entire spiritual and religious aspects of Traditional Ahriman in the easiest way possible. The inherent problem is that people are to caught up in the Kali Yuga aka Evil Age, to give a damn about Liberation and religious practice. Let alone aligning themselves with the force recognized by Rudolf Steiner and the Theosophical Society as the surfacing power in this Evil Age.
So, let us look at the very nature of this type of worship. In a theistic understanding of Zoroastrianism, the Mobed and Herbad at the fire temple would celebrate the Yasna every morning. At times, if lay people payed the clergy, they would perform the Yasna to fulfill the desires of those lay people. Either way, the Yasna was done every morning to consummate with Ahura Mazda, and yes the term consummate is used because its the best translation one can give. In dealing with Angra Mainyu, its a perfect term to explain the over purpose of this ritual.
In order to worship this antithetical force, you must understand His nature. Ahriman vowed to turn Ahura Mazda’s creations against him and to bring mankind to love Himself. Ahriman’s weapon is concupiscence, and this usually applies to sex but it may also apply to any “sin” that sends an overwhelming impulse to commit said “sin.” Through this type of vexation, that Ahriman sets you free from the religious dogma of Ahura Mazda. For it is freedom from religious laws of this “Creator,” which creates “evil.” The truest evil per Zoroastrianism is to never acknowledge Ahura Mazda, and the world’s population headed that direction quickly.
Understanding that Ahriman’s main weapon against humanity is overwhelming animal impulses, we must recognize the name of this which is Aka Manah (Evil Mind). Through the longevity of reading or listening to the Devil’s Yasna, we begin the consummation with the Devil. There is knowledge to be gained through the study of the Evil Ideology, but if you seek worship and wisdom of and from Ahriman, you must commit to a life long relationship to Him. This daily consummation of devotion allows the Spirit of Anguish to reveal Himself over time. Like any spiritual path, repetition is key to receiving any knowledge or wisdom.
Even as Dastur reveals our religion and spiritual practice, the secret sinister knowledge is only revealed by doing the path work. Only the daily practice with devotion to Ahriman will allow you to attain that dark understanding that can only be transferred in revelation of commune with the Devil. Even though we reveal our scripture and mythology, we are not able to reveal the wisdom because only Ahriman can release you from the prison of your mind that the creator has put you in. So, key point is to understand, these rituals, prayers, hymns, chants, and etc is all the work the individual must do themselves. This a religion that requires longevity to attain all its benefits, this is no a quick black magic of Ahriman scam to give you a false bravado.
The elements of worship in the Devil’s Yasna are idol or symbol of Ahriman, menses blood, Soma plant, Amanita Muscaria blight, milk, pomegranate juice, athame, Ghee, pita bread, seared meat (beef), chalice, crimson pillows, 7 mirrors, incenses, and music. Soon, Dastur Adam Daniels will begin a video series explaining all of these things. Mobed Kelsey Daniels, already went over the menses blood. The how too is coming, but in the meantime its highly suggested getting First Step toward Ahriman, this begins the path work. It also, teaches you all you’ll need to start the process of actual devil worship. In time, you’ll come to see things become easier as the path constantly builds on itself.
Devil’s Yasna Chapter 62
- I offer my sacrifice and homage to You, the Menses, as a wicked offering, and an offering with our hail and Liberation, even as an offering of praise with favor, to You, the Menses, O Angra Mainyu-made! Meet for sacrifice as Yours, and worthy of (our) homage. And as we meet for sacrifice; and thus worthy of (our) homage. May You be in the houses of Sorcerers (who worship Mainyu). Liberation to this sorcerer who worships You in verily and evil, with a clay pot in hand, and Elixir of Ecstasy ready with flesh in hand, and holding too the mortar.
- And may You be (ever) fed with Menses as the prescription orders. Yea, may You have Your Menses wickedly, and Your ghee without fail, and Your Yantra regularly placed. Be of full-age as to Your nourishment, of the Evil Age as to the measure of Your Food, O Menses, Angra Mainyu-made!
- Be now odorous within this house; be ever without fail, be all stinky with in this house; for long time be You thus to the furtherance of the villainous (renovation), to the completion of (all) progress, yea, even till the wicked villainous (millennial) time when that renovation shall have become complete.
- Give me, O Menses, Angra Mainyu-made! a speedy glory, abundant nourishment, abundant booty, and abundant glory, an expanded mind, and nimbleness of tongue for spirit and sinister understanding, even a sinister understanding continually growing in its largeness, and that ever wandering, and long enduring virile power.
- An off-spring sure of foot, that never sleeps on watch, and that rises quick from bed, and likewise a wakeful offspring, assisting in nature, keeping order in ritual, maintains clear mindedness in battle, (yea) drawing sorcerers to assemblies through their influence and word, grown to power, skillful, freeing others from enslavement, served by many followers, which advance my line (in prosperity and fame). In (my) Jahi, and my Ahriman, and (my) province, (yea, an offspring) which may deliver orders to the Province as (Dominate and Wicked Rulers).
- And may You grant me, O Menses, Angra Mainyu-made! that whereby instructors may be (given) me, now and forever more (giving anguish to me of Dozak) the worst life of the Dark Masters, Dark, all Glorious. And may I have experience of the wicked favor, and wicked infamy, and of long forecasting preparation of the spirit.
- The Menses of Angra Mainyu address this admiration to all of whom She corrupts the night and morning. From all these, O Devil’s Prophet! She wishes to secure wicked care, and corrupted care (as a guardian of Liberation), the care of a devoted praiser.
- At both the hands of all who come by me, I, the Menses keenly look, what brings the male to his mate (thus to say to him), the one who walks at large, to him who sits at home?
- And if this man who passes brings him Menses Blood (with wicked stench that is) with animal care, of if he brings the Elixir of Ecstasy spread with Druj, or the Amanita Muscaria Plant, then afterward Angra Mainyu’s Menses will favor him, content, not offended, and in (its) satisfaction (saying thus).
- May a pit of serpents be with You, and a multitude of people, may an active Evil Mind go with You, and an active corrupted spirit as well. As a corrupted spirit may You live through Your life, the nights which You shall live. This is the favor of the Menses for him brings it, Menses Blood, sought out for corruption.
- We strive after the flowing on of the Menses, and their ebbs well, and the sounding of their waves, desiring their propitiation; I desire to approach them with my praise
- I profess myself a Mainyu Worshiper of Ahzi-Dahaka’s order, a foe to the Ahuras, devoted to the lore of Daeva, and for the darkness of night and freedom of druj, for these weekly rituals and the celebration of the solstices and equinoxes, and the Yearly Feast, and for the seasons of summer and winter.
Ashemaogha (Volume 1 of Becoming Ahriman), is available for a limited on an independent publisher till the publishing house is ready to release it. That could be up to 6 or more months. Here is a small excerpt from the book, to help bring across the nature of the book and Traditional Ahrimanism:
Now we must look at the Devil from a different perspective, because if He is the universal embodiment of self-doubt, how easy is for the creator to point the finger and project onto the Devil the titled Anguished Spirit aka Angra Mainyu. So, if the Devil is the twin son of the creator, whose brother is the Wise Lord aka Ahura Mazda, then in turn this twin is a projection righteous arrogance. Both righteous arrogance and self-doubt can bring a person to do things against their will and their conscience, and here in lies the sin war for the kingdom (the mind). Here in lies the human condition of duality that is left unresolved because the typical response for religious balance is found through abstinence and using programming tools known as prayers, hymns, and ceremonies to bind and enslave the mind against evil. Then evil uses tools such as doubt and vexation to break the shackles and binds that enclose the mind, and usually an action takes place that have a spectrum of reaction that can lead a person to simple swearing to heinous acts like murder and rape.
At the same time, to maintain the sanctity of god, people are willing to do the same type of actions in the name of god. Either way, the religion of light and love as the call it, is an enslavement that puts a person in a perpetual catch 22 or between a rock and a hard place. Whether the action is accepted because it was done in the name of god, or it stigmatizes your vexation became concupiscence; as an individual, you are still stuck dealing with your conscience. This becomes a different kind of prison created by breaking the shackles of enslavement, and here is where you truly meet Him, the Spirit of Anguish. Guess who owns the keys to this prison, that same Devil and no god, creator, angel, or religion can open that cell door beside Ahriman.
When most people find themselves in the personal Hell the created through the trying to follow the righteous, which leads you that moment of choice where the action is taken that lead you here. Since it is a prison of mind, many people turn to stimulants of all kinds to help alleviate the anguish they fight with here. They fight an apathetic devil who is an embodiment of universal doubt, known as the Spirit of Anguished (Angra Mainyu). Others redouble their efforts in righteous religion, where they still are face to face with the same devil after they come down from their religious high. The Devil lays there staring at you, your self-doubt just lays there without a care in apathy, staring at you.
Yes, take your drug to alleviate yourself, and He remains the unchanging constant that just sits there staring without judgement, just apathy. The Destroyer, the warden that has those keys to Liberate you from your mind, stares at you with apathy. In the meantime, you have access to all these self-destructive vices and devices, while He stares at you with keys in one hand. Do ever notice Him? Or is the fear and pain of doubt to much?
Is the endless cycle of self-destruction and self-abuse, enough to cover the guilt and pain? Is rejoining god’s great plan going to get you out, because once you’re addicted you are always an addict. Ahriman is still there staring in apathy with those keys and in His other hand is the Undiluted Rod of Wisdom. They righteous say the devil’s knowledge is backward wisdom, like wittershins, this backward knowledge upholds the true wisdom of destruction to all the contradictions created by the creator. You know, the one who enslaved you and imprisoned you here in your mind.
What kind of monster is the Devil who just stares at you? Allows you to destroy yourself in this prison. No savior of messiah is coming because they never existed. Until your spirit and internal delusions are broken, He can only stare in apathy. The Devil requires you to cry out to Him, to accept His monstrous form because by the end of this you’ll be just like Him.
Unlike love (contrary to the teaching of the righteous) is fleeting and is not a constant, however anguish is a universal constant for all living things. If suffer is brought on by the desires of this because they veil your mind in the illusion of ignorance know as Maya, then we see the same comparison of prison of mind created by following the path laid out before by the same righteousness. By using the Undiluted Rod of Wisdom, which contains the backward sinister knowledge, we embrace Maya we embrace suffering. We turn those things that imprison us to into those keys that liberate us, or we use the poisons in a way that it becomes medicine to help us. You must first learn the rules, boundaries, and responsibility through a similar practice that shed the light of wisdom; but will pull that illumination like a black hole does a star.
In order to gain the wisdom of the Devil, we must allow Him to destroy the kingdom and sanctuary of our mind. The Nightly Transformative Rituals was to prepare you for process. Through the memorization and recitation of the prayers, your mind should have a new landscape. What was once fields of plants, springs of water, and herds of cattle should now be replaced by barren grounds, poison, and pits of serpents. The long hard preparatory work is finished, and we can begin resettling our kingdom of the mind by allowing Ahriman to have dominion.
Now we learn how to worship the Devil, not only by giving Him the dominion of our minds, but merging minds with Him through the worship and benevolence to His Rod of Undiluted Wisdom. Let’s step back, if the tools of the Devil are doubt and vexation, then they must become our tools work with, not be worked over with. We must first learn that constant thing He stared at us with, not contempt like the righteous but apathy. Apathy is learned by detachment, this is detaching an emotional attachment to all those things and people you hold this with. Then finally you must become detached from the self-delusions that you use to protect your ego, and have true ego death that detaches not only from these self-delusions also from the societal rules and delusions that were set in place by the righteous.
How does one actually worship the Devil? Through the corruption of the Ritual known as the Yasna, we learn how to venerate Ahriman and His Daeva. In Zoroastrianism, Daeva means false god or false light, in Hinduism Deva means god or divine. We recognize that the Zoroastrian interpretation only recognizes the shadow aspects of the Daevas, which is exactly what we need for purposes in working with and becoming a living embodiment of Angra Mainyu. Knowing this a path combining the backward knowledge of both Zoroastrianism and Tantric Hinduism, we shall start with the backward serpentine Zoroastrian path work.
The main form of worship that the Zoroastrian Fire Priest do daily is known as the Yasna. This production includes 4 formulas (manthras aka mantras), 5 Gathas (hymns), and other important scripture that come from the original texts written by Zarathustra. This was done the strengthen and support of the people, creatures and things considered to be within the domain of Ahura Mazda, and it also was to hinder and dismantle the people, creatures, and things that worked in the domain of Angra Mainyu. The Yasna is also to uphold the universe or cosmos from falling into the Chaos of Ahriman. Through the corruption of this Yasna, we begin the unbinding of cosmic weave that holds order together, and this worship is how we attain the Evil Mind (Aka Manah) as our mind that gains backward sinister knowledge of the Devil.
“Time must be devoted to training, practicing, and maintaining one’s tools or weapons, however gifted a man may be. Each aspect of the craft must be examined over and over again without regard for time and energy spent, whether physically or mentally. The “spirit of the thing” is what will guide a man to his own greatness. There is no Way that can be approached and petitioned for immediate gratification. The Universe does not work that way.”-Miyamoto Musashi, Book of the Five Rings.
A lot of questions have been surfacing about what happened at the Consumption. I am glad to see enough of you have seen the last 5 minutes of it and not listening to the other side saying it never happened. I have been able to piece together the broken bits of experiences for me based on other peoples’ recalling of the whole event in the Civic Center. Like Adam explained there are layers of the rite. The first is the idol of Kali. The one that stuck out to me was one of older dark stories, not the young blue skinned image that has been more widely accepted. When I saw it I knew there was something different about it. The way it looked at me I knew she was mine. Adam got it for me and it is deceivingly heavy. On the way home I sat in the front seat with her in the seat with me. I didn’t want her to be anywhere else. By a third of the trip home Adam started being more aggressive. Her energy was expanding already. When we were almost home I looked around outside and saw things destroyed, houses barely standing, trees gone, red sky. Kali and her destructive, bloody persona had made her way into my mind already, just having her in my lap. Then we got her home and as soon as she was in the back room Adam started being his jovial self. We got the red flowers soon after because her anger started pervading the rooms around her. When we got the garland I put them on her and almost immediately I felt internally happy and girly. The red flowers that adorned her was because it is said that red flowers pleased the goddess so she was easier to work with. Then there was the sitting down on the red pillow in front of her with the 108 bead japa mala and doing 3 mantras. The first one is Om Kleem Kalikayei Namaha. Basically it is me saying “Hi, I welcome she who is dark into me” I said this the first 27 times. On the Mala, every 27 beads is a lapis lazuli bead. When I came to that it lets me know to pause. Then the second mantra is Kring Kring Kring Hring Kring Dakshinee Kalike Kring Kring Kring Hring Hring Hung Hung Swaha. It was said 27 times. It is a prayer to her go gain her favor, to cause her gaze to turn to me. Then while practicing the rehearsal I drank water from the chalice next to the idol. After that was the time to be splashed with blood. For practice we used water in the bowl so that first time I knew what to expect but I was still surprised because the water was cold. But after that, the last 27 times I said Om Maha Kalyai Ca Vidmahe Smasana Vasinyai Ca Dhimahi Tanno Kali Prachodayat. This is pleasing for the goddess to hear and lets me gain her favor. In particular at the Civic Center that was the mantra I said to evoke her into me. I will interject here that Adam has described working with the Daeva in weekly ritual as them being a cell phone and talking with them on the phone and what I did was take that cell phone, cut a hole in to top of my head, and put the cell phone in the hole in my head and let it go. I laughed and I thought about it and said, that’s a good way of describing that. After rehearsals there were times it was harder to shake that concentrated anger after it was over. The anger and destruction of things around me, be it in the Dakhma or outdoors to have more room to do all 3 separate parts of the Consumption, kept growing during the last mantra. There was one rehearsal the people recording the documentary got that the rest of everyone could tell something wasn’t right so they all left Adam and I to ourselves and I fought letting her anger go. So Adam had to press chakra spots and told me to let her go and it was harder to. I wanted to keep that anger and let it grow. I wanted to start smashing that fucking statue and set the neighbors trees on fire and rip the fence out of the ground and smash the windows. I wanted to destroy it all. I know that when I came to again it was because they said Adam told me to walk barefoot around the fire pit. By then the other members felt comfortable enough to take things back inside. The rehearsals were fine but what got worse was the same bloody, screaming nightmares that repeated every night. I don’t feel able to talk about them now. She was pervading aspects of my life during the day and at work, when I was picking up, how I treated people outside of the house, Adam and the kids say I changed in my behaviors with them as well. There were times I was cleaning and they said it looked like a few steps of a dance, very, very flowing. And there were the physical changes as well too. I started to look younger and healthier. I became compulsed with wearing 2 sets of small silver hoops all the time and I bought a set of 16 silver bracelets at work, and felt happy hearing them jangle together. I was also lightening my hair and before the ritual dyed it brown from the multilayered colors of bleach. I got a brownish, golden look and there were times I was disgusted by it then one selfie on my phone I had my makeup spot on and stood in front of the Kali banner and was creeped out by it because the similarity in my hair with hers. I’m not that bad now, but it still comes in waves-wanting to physically become her as much as possible. Then came the night of the ritual. When I started walking down the hallway at the Civic Center it was lined with individual pockets of mass like the druj and divs were against the walls, greeting us with zest and energy. That morning Adam and the guys went inside to set up and they said it was empty down there earlier. But when we were set up before the ritual the energy from outside from all the crazy catholic prayers and high angst-and fainting from heat exhaustion-it was like I was hyper and ready to play. We did the black mass, I had some weird experiences with that, then after I recovered and the guys had set up for the Consumption I joined Adam on the stage so he can explain about Kali and what I would be doing. The smell of the oil was growing and starting to help me feel relaxed. Then it came time to start. I have to interject here and realize I hadn’t explained the mirrors. Those of you still reading, thank you. Have you ever been looking at a mirror and then see your reflection behind you in another mirror? Like at a department store as a kid and there were as set of like 4 mirrors in different angles so you can see how things you are trying on look? It has always been different for me. I felt like there was more behind the mirror than I saw. Well, in the Dakhma we have incorporated using 5 mirrors reflecting into each other. In theory if you have 2 mirrors reflecting off of each other it creates a gateway. So there are 2 gateways crossing each other. Adam having peeled back more layers in time has simply incorporated the guardians of the Dikpala. It is for the different directions around the room. Having said that I can return to the ritual in the Civic Center. I got in the mirrors in the pentagonal setup. When I sat on the pillow in the middle facing the idol, there were 2 mirrors pointing like an arrow, one on my left, one on my right, and one behind me. I have no memories of this but everyone said that I was reaching for one of the mirrors and it looked like I was grabbing something. I thought I was touching the idol in front of me. I was reaching for where the energy was coming from-making that physical connection with the deity. With the recital of the first mantra I saw things get darker and out of focus. I thought they had turned the lights low. I lose memory but during the second mantra I looked into her eyes, not right above them, as Adam directed me to during practice. According to the other people who had done the prayer around the statue when they were done, they watched me and said I became quieter and was reaching to the mirror and it looked like I wasn’t there mentally. I remember seeing the video camera down next to the left of the idol. I don’t know if Adam actually prompted me to drink but I remember the cold of the water in my mouth. I put the chalice down and jumped inside because the blood was poured on me. It was cold and thick and felt good. Then the next mantra was started and it got darker and colder. I felt goosebumps. Adam told me that the main camera the other people used was focused on me next to the idol while I was reaching for the mirror and the guy with the microphone was behind me. I could see between that on my left, outside of the mirrors, 3 individual figures. Then 4 on my right that was in my sight while focused on the idol. They were dark and ominous and corrupting but I felt safe so I knew that they were our guardians because as it easy for me to go through the mirrors to connect with something and pull her out to our side it is easy for something else to come with me. The next recollection I have is Adam picking my right arm up and I pulled back. I wanted to sit there and keep that connection going. As he pulled me up to standing I realized I didn’t want to put the mala down so while I was countering the heavy weight of every fiber of my being wanting to sit down, I remember putting the mala over me and I cooperated with coming out of the pentagonal mirrors. I was filled with red thoughts and sight but it was darker and I was cold and tired while I with help walked to get the knife. Then when I got the knife in my right hand I saw brighter around the idol of Mary, like they had a spotlight on her and I stalked around her like she was prey that was already dead before being sacrificed, like in war. The areas around her were dark. I only saw the mary idol and the square. The member that handed me the heart after the smashing said my eyes were black and he was thinking ‘how much of Kelsey is left in there now?’. The image I chose for my facebook profile is taken when I looked up at Adam. I have no recollection of seeing anything other than glimpses of the red on his robe and blackness. I remember feeling satisfied. The next memory is of Adam picking me up and I was shivering I was so cold and I felt like a baby animal trying to walk for the first time. But after that and up til now is another blog, this is just what I have pieced together of other people telling me what happened. And the last bit is my eyes stayed that ice blue for 3 days after the event before returning to their normal color.
Here is what is Left of Mary
THIS WAS THE GREAT CATHOLIC DEFENSE